Lawyer-Wearing-Yarmulka
Monday, July 14, 2008
The Wall Street Journal Takes On Shidduch Dating, But This Time For Real
Unlike the Pepper...and Salt comic from a few weeks ago, the Journal actually had a piece on shidduch dating. Tamar Snyder, who penned a great article on Bad4Shidduchim for the Jewish Week a little while ago, wrote last Friday's House of Worship column in the Weekend Journal.
To put in mildly, I'm not happy with the column, though I'm having a hard time articulating exactly why. I guess I don't like having our dirty laundry aired in the secular press. We come across looking like idiots.
What did you think of it?
To put in mildly, I'm not happy with the column, though I'm having a hard time articulating exactly why. I guess I don't like having our dirty laundry aired in the secular press. We come across looking like idiots.
What did you think of it?
posted by LWY, 10:09 AM
5 Comments:
Sometimes it's useful to step outside and see what things look like. From an outside perspective, the shidduch system is nuts. (Not to say it isn't nuts from an inside one as well -- many orthos seem to complain about it.)
From an outside perspective, the shidduch system is nuts.
That's only true if you know nothing about Orthodox Judaism. Understanding the context, it's not so nuts. The context may be nuts though, though that's not the issue.
(Not to say it isn't nuts from an inside one as well -- many orthos seem to complain about it.)
We complain, but I haven't heard a single person come up with an idea that will result in a greater number of successful marriages. That's all that matters at the end of the day.
That's only true if you know nothing about Orthodox Judaism. Understanding the context, it's not so nuts. The context may be nuts though, though that's not the issue.
(Not to say it isn't nuts from an inside one as well -- many orthos seem to complain about it.)
We complain, but I haven't heard a single person come up with an idea that will result in a greater number of successful marriages. That's all that matters at the end of the day.
The key is the definition of the word "successful." Many Orthos seem to define it as "not getting divorced" and "having a lot of religious kids." Those aren't the only goals for a lot of other people, and they probably shouldn't be for orthos, either.
I think the shidduch system particularly fails to ensure sexual compatibility, but it also fails to ensure all sorts of other compatibilities due to the short and unnatural courtship period.
Not that OJs are as bad as, for example, Southern Baptists.
I think the shidduch system particularly fails to ensure sexual compatibility, but it also fails to ensure all sorts of other compatibilities due to the short and unnatural courtship period.
Not that OJs are as bad as, for example, Southern Baptists.
You saw my post.
The System in theory can and has worked, but the article paints an accurate picture of its current incarnation.
I'm not happy with the column, though I'm having a hard time articulating exactly why.
Pinnochio, you know exactly why you're not happy with it...you said it yourself
We come across looking like idiots
Exactly, and sometimes the truth hits too close for comfort.
It's a classic case of "I can make fun of my family but don't YOU dare".
The System in theory can and has worked, but the article paints an accurate picture of its current incarnation.
I'm not happy with the column, though I'm having a hard time articulating exactly why.
Pinnochio, you know exactly why you're not happy with it...you said it yourself
We come across looking like idiots
Exactly, and sometimes the truth hits too close for comfort.
It's a classic case of "I can make fun of my family but don't YOU dare".
I think it's that it only portrays the ridiculous side of shidduch dating. Yes, there are plenty of people who go by these silly rules, but there are plenty of people who don't. I think it could have been a *little* more even handed, not that it was as bad as JPost's recent article about being Aish'd.
