Thursday, October 23, 2008
A Series of Shidduchim Posts: The First Phone Call
In a sane world, this would be a non-issue. If you call and it's a bad time, she won't pick up the phone, you'll leave a voicemail with your number, say that you'll try her again later, or she wants, she'll call you back.
But instead, many people have poor cellphone eittique, and they'll answer their phone while they're shopping for grocieries, at a party, or in shul. It's annoying.
So what I've been doing lately is simply sending a text message, asking her when is a good time to call. It's quick and painless and she doesn't have to spend the night looking at her phone waiting for a call.
When I mentioned this at a recent Shabbos meal, a girl recoiled in horror. She thought it was an (for lack a better word) looserish thing to do. I countered that I've had dates thank me for doing it.
What do you think?
Sorry, was that too harsh?
Back to the matter at hand
I don't know about this...texting?...before you've even met the young lady? Seems awfully forward to me. I would think that there would need to be some sort of relationship established before she would feel comfortable accepting a text from you. I mean the next you'll tell me is that you want to give her a compliment while out on the date!
no, no - it's just too much too soon if you ask me.
Erachet- I think today people just assume that everyone has some sort of texting plan.
has been sooooo useful for dating.
like, sending address or as u said, asking what is a good time to call. and, as long as there is a call, then it's ok to text.
(b) I certainly hope that any initial text messages are properly spelled and punctuated--I can attest that there are certain young ladies who would find anything less an immediate turnoff. (Though maybe those women should be condemned as snobbish, shallow, empty husks and dismissed anyway, right?)
(c) There's a higher chance of not seeing texts right when they come in. This wouldn't matter much if the text is only a query as to the best time to call, but it might be expedient not to text more pressing questions for this reason.
2. I didn't have a texting plan until recently, but frankly, this is not going to be a habit -- it's one text, oh fine, plus a reply. Not going to be more than 20 cents. Chill out.
3. In response to the issues of "What if she doesn't get text" and if she doesn't see it right away -- so, it was a nice try. If you didn't get an answer, then take the chance and call. You're no worse off than if you hadn't texted. Unless she thinks it's loserish ;-)
Either I won't pick up, or I'll tell you I'll call you back.
But if I'm told the guy's calling on 9 on Tuesday, I make damn sure (as well as one could, anyway, extenuating circumstances aside) that I am available at that time.
i think it's a great idea
Don't text, just call.