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Monday, December 04, 2006

A Shidduchim Etiquette Question

This one's for the ladies out there, but guys, feel free to respond as well.

Is it appropriate for a guy to walk a girl back to her front door at the end of a shidduch date?

I'm conflicted about this. One one hand, most of the times the girl will tell you not to bother as soon as she sees you removing your seat belt. Their embarrassed or uncomfortable, and it's not like you're getting a goodbye kiss on her front porch, so it can be just weird. Or they just don't want their nosy neighbor bothering them the next day. On the other hand, when you just pull up in front of her place and drop her off, it feels like you're doing carpool.

Any thoughts?


I've had a guy do this on occasion, and while I definitely don't think it's necessary, I do think it's nice and gentlemanly. I know it can be a bit weird, but I don't think you can go wrong with it.
I think it is one of those deals where you are supposed to offer and she is suposed to say no
You should definitely start to or offer, if you think it might make her uncomfortable. She can always say "It's okay".
What I was told to do (and did): get out of the car and walk her part of the way. You need to show chivalry, but she doesn't want to feel crowded or feel like she's being stalked. Also, if she's nervous and fumbles with the keys, let her save face; so say g'night and go back to the car. Of course don't drive away until she's inside.
Always have, just seems like the right thing to do. Kind of like not driving away until you are sure someone get into their house ok.
Dropping her off at the nearest bus stop and driving away isn't enough?! You have to take her ALL THE WAY back home?! Wow, this explains a LOT...
I vote for walking her to the door. But, then again, I don't believe one need abide by all the rules in the Shidduch Encylopedia. What is the rule on this anyways?
Whenever a guy has done or tried to do this to me, we've both ended up feeling stupid. Especially since a couple of times I didn't realize what he was doing, and was halfway up the walk while he was coming around the car. :-D
I am going to agree with married guy. Walk the girl part of the way and make sure she gets in safely. B4S is probably in such a rush to get away she doesn't check to see if the guy is taking off his seatbelt - but a lot of girls I know check first or go out of the car slowly.

Also, the only weird thing is if the girl is expecting you to open the door - which is whole different etiquette question (one which I feel should be done).
In favor, but as to B4S's comment, it may be a good idea to make your intention clear.

Also, it's less awkward if you just walk up until the steps/porch/lobby as applicable, and not ALL the way to the door of her home itself. Front steps make good ports of departure.
He should definitely get out of the car, but more than that is up to him.
Of course he has to walk you to the door. What, is chivalry dead
I think walking you to the door is only decent. But I porbably would only feel comfortable if it was on a later date.

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